An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were appointed Judges at The World
Ice-skating Championships. The final competitor had a bit of a mishap. He slipped
just as he was entering The rink, slid across The floor on his rear end, and demolished
The Judges' table with his feet.
'Could I have your marks gentlemen please, just for The record?' said The chief
'I award 0.0,' said The Englishman.
'I award 0.0,' said The Scotsman.
'I award 9.9,' said The Irishman.
'Hold on a moment,' said The chief official to The Irishman, 'how can you award
such a high score for such a terrible performance?'
'Well,' said The Irishman, 'you've got to make allowances - it's as slippery as
hell out there.'