Have you heard about the Corkman who bought a bunch of artificial flowers?
He went back to the shop trying to buy artificial water.
Have you heard the sad story of the Corkman who was a haemophiliac?
He tried to cure himself by acupuncture.
A Corkman became one of the world's leading surgeons. The highlight of his
career came when he carried out the first appendix transplant.
First Corkman: 'I see where Murphy has just run a hundred metres in six seconds'.
Second Corkman: That's impossible, the world record is over nine seconds'.
First Corkman: 'Murphy found a shortcut'.
How do you recognise a Corkman 's cuckoo clock?
Every twenty-five minutes the cuckoo pops its head out and asks what time it is.
How do you sink a submarine designed by a Corkman?
Put it in water.
A Corkman joined the army and after three years service was awarded the special
crossed knife and fork ensigma. This was to celebrate three years of eating with
a knife and fork without accident.
A successful Cork businessman was boasting about how poor his family had been
when he was a child. 'For the first five years', he claimed, 'I hadn't a stitch
to wear. Then when I was six my mother bought me a cap and I used to sit looking
out the window'.
A Corkman was on his first visit to the zoo. He was annoyed because he followed
the sign LADIES but they were all locked in their cages where he couldn't see
A Corkman arrived home late one night in a state of more than mild intoxication.
'Where have you been?' asked his wife. 'I don't know', said the Corkman, 'but
wherever it was it was terribly posh - they even had a golden toilet'. Next morning
a fellow called round looking for compensation for his damaged saxaphone.