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One Liners

Why do Cork workers never go on strike?
Nobody would notice the difference.

Have you heard about the Cork chess champion?
When he was only ten he played blindfold against twelve Soviet Grand Masters simultaneously. He was annihilated in all twelve matches.

A old story tells of a Corkman discovering a dead highwayman lying on the roadside with a small bullet hole in his left temple. The Corkman commented 'Wasn't it the mercy of God that it didn't hit the poor fellow in the eye?'

Have you heard about the lucky Corkman?
He was always finding lOp pieces under plates in restaurants

Have you heard about the Corkwoman who wanted to print HAPPY BIRTHDAY on her little boy's birthday cake?
She spent half an hour trying to put the cake into her typewriter.

Have you heard about the Corkman who never took his wife anywhere?
It seems that his mother had warned him not to go out with married women.

A Corkwoman went upstairs one night to find her husband standing in front of a mirror with his eyes closed.
'I'm trying to see what I look like when I'm asleep', he explained.

Have you heard about the Corkman who spent three hours in a carwash?
He thought it was raining too hard to drive.

A Corkman got a job as a lift operator but was sacked after a week. He couldn't remember his route.

How do you recognise a Corkman's pencil?
It's got an eraser at both ends.


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