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One Liners

A new Institute for Advanced Mathematics has just been opened in Cork. Most popular courses are Fractions and Long Division.

Why has Australia got all the kangaroos and Cork got all the Corkmen?
Australia had the first choice.

Have you heard about the Cork grandmother who went on the pill?
She didn't want to have any more grandchildren.

Have you heard about the Corkman who thought that manual labour was a Spanish trade union official?

A Corkman once led from start to finish in the Olympic Marathon. However, he didn't get a medal because it was a false start.

Did you know that if a Corkman moves to Dublin he decreases the level of intelligence in both counties?

Have you heard about the Cork pilot who had an accident with his helicopter?
He thought it was a bit cold so he turned the fan off.

I've had just about enough', said a Corkman to his wife, 'the only solution is for your mother to leave and find a place of her own'
'My mother?' screamed his wife, 'I thought she was your mother'

Have you heard about the Cork explorer who paid £10 for a sheet of sandpaper?
He thought it was a map of the Sahara Desert.

A Corkman bought a barometer and took it home but when he hung it up on the wall he found that it registered 'Hurricane'. So he took it back to the shop and complained, whereupon he was immediately given a replacement. When he arrived home he found that his house had been blown away.


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