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One Liners

Why are Corkman jokes so simple?
So Dubliners can understand them.

Why is the wheelbarrow the greatest of all human inventions?
It taught Dubliners to walk on their hind legs.

What is coloured light blue and lies at the bottom of Cork Harbour?
A Dubliner found telling Corkman jokes.

What did God say when he made his second Dubliner?
'I must be losing my touch'.

How do you tell the age of a Dubliner?
Cut off his head and count the rings.

What is the difference between a Dubliner and a ham sandwich?
The average ham sandwich is only half an inch thick.

Why do so many Dubliners have scratched faces?
From trying to eat with forks.

How do you keep Dubliners out of your house?
Hide the key under a bar of soap.

A Dubliner on holiday in the country found three bottles of milk in a field. He thought he had discovered a cow's nest.

How do you recognise the bride at a Dublin wedding? She's the one wearing the white maternity dress.

Why do Dubliners have big noses?
Dubliners have big fingers.

Two Dublin trade unionists were discussing the beauties of nature and the coming of spring.
'I see that the snowdrops are out', said one. 'How will that affect us? ' asked the other.


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