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One Liners

Have you heard about the Corkman who was taking his driving test?
He opened the car door to let the clutch out.

A Corkman came home unexpectedly to find a naked man in his bedroom.
'Don't worry darling', his wife reassured him, 'he's just a nudist who has come in to use the telephone'.

The following sign is displayed prominently in a Cork shop: CREDIT IS GIVEN ONLY TO THOSE OVER EIGHTY -PROVIDED THEY ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THEIR GRANDPARENTS.

Have you heard about the Corkman who got a job as quality control officer in a banana factory?
They had to sack him because he kept throwing away all the ones that were crooked.

Have you heard about the Corkman who drove his car to Angola?
He wanted to insure it with the MPLA.

A Corkman once wrote to the Guinness Book of Records and claimed that he should be included. He explained that at one stage he had been the youngest person in the world.

Cork's G.P.O. is reputed to have had for many years a postbox bearing the following notice:
FOR LETTERS TOO LATE FOR THE NEXT DELIVERY.

Have you heard about the Corkman who bought a black and white dog?
He figured the licence would be cheaper than for a coloured one.

A Corkman went to a psychiatrist and told him that his wife thought she was a television set.
'Don't worry', said the psychiatrist, Til soon cure her of that'. 'Oh I don't want you to cure her', said the Corkman, 'just adjust her to pick up BBC 1'.

How do you recognise an aircraft designed by a Corkman?
It has outside toilets.

 
 


 
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