Have you heard about the Corkman who took up water polo?
His horse got drowned.
Have you heard about the Corkman's dog who was sitting by the fire eating
When he got up he realised he had only three legs.
'My wife is most unreasonable', a Corkman told a marriage counsellor.
'Could you give me an example of her behaviour?' asked the counsellor.
'Yes', said the Corkman, 'only the other night I was having a bath when she burst
into the bathroom and sank all my toy boats'.
A Corkman saw a sign outside a restaurant:
CHICKEN DINNERS 25p each.
So he went inside and ordered one. He was served with a dish of Indian meal.
One Corkman owed another £5 for over a year so he finally decided to
'Do you know', said the second Corkman, 'I'd completely forgotten that I had lent
you that money'.
'If only you'd told me that', said the first Corkman, 'I could have saved myself
'Gentlemen of the jury', shouted the crier in a Cork court, 'please proceed
to your accustomed places'. The court erupted as the twelve Corkmen proceeded
to cram themselves into the dock.
A Corkman's bicycle was stolen so he telephoned the Guards and reported the
incident as follows:
'I came out of the pub and there was my new bike up against the wall, gone'.
How do you know if a Corkman and his wife are about to have a baby?
They put a Family Planning application notice in the newspapers.
A Corkman went into a restaurant in an area notorious for pickpockets and
petty thefts. Seeing a notice:
WATCH YOUR COAT CAREFULLY. He sat in a position where he had a clear view of the
coatrack all through his meal. When he came outside he found his trousers were
On seeing a lobster pot for the first time and having been told what it was
called, a Corkman exclaimed, 'I don't believe it. How would you get a lobster
to sit on one of those things?'