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A Corkman has just invented a new labour-saving mouse-trap -it comes complete with its own mice.

What do you call a Corkman who is a sanitary expert?
Conn-a-sewer.

A Corkman rushed into a bank with a nylon stocking over his face, pointed a gun at the cashier and said, 'this is an up-stick'. 'Surely you mean it's a stick-up', said the cashier. 'Look', said the Corkman, 'don't confuse me, it's my first job'.

What do you find written on the bottom of Cork beer bottles?
Open other end.

What do you find written on the top of Cork beer bottles?
See other end for instructions.

How do you recognise a Corkman's roll of toilet paper?
Look for the instructions printed on every sheet.

A Corkman received a bill for £10 from his shoemaker so he sent the following reply:
'I never ordered those shoes, and if I did, you never sent them, and if you did, I never got them, and if I did, I paid for them, and if I didn't, I won't'.

A Corkman was asked by a salesman if he would like to buy a suitcase.
'What could I use it for?' asked the Corkman. 'Well, you could put your clothes in it', said the salesman. 'What', said the Corkman, 'and go naked?'

Have you heard about the Cork girl who came second in a beauty contest?
She was the only entrant.

The fellow who would stoop so low', said a Corkman, 'as to write an anonymous letter, the very least he might do is to sign his name to it'.

 
 


 
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