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What does a Corkman do if he gets a hole in his sock?
He turns the sock inside out.

What does a Cork fatted calf say when he sees the Prodigal Son coming over the hill?
O goody, here comes the Prodigal Son.

A Corkman's coat fell down a sewer so he spent half an hour trying to fish it out again. A man passing by suggested that he abandon the coat because even if he got it out, it would never be fit to wear again. 'Oh I know that', said the Corkrnan, 'but there were three sandwiches in the pocket'.

A Corkman became an undertaker but had to close down his business after a few weeks. It seems that little boys were driving him crazy coming in asking for empty boxes.

How does a Corkman do a 'Spot the Ball' entry?
He prods around his newspaper with a pin until he hears 'psst'.

'Show me a place', said a Corkman, where nobody dies, and I'll go and end my days there'

What's the best thing that ever came out of Cork?
The road to Dublin

This fellow met a Corkman wearing only one shoe
'What's the matter' he asked him, 'have you lost a shoe?'
'No', said the Corkman, 'I've just found one'

A Corkman invented a new diet guaranteed to make anybody lose 14 Ibs in a week It consisted of eating nothing else except dripping. He had heard the old proverb constant dripping wears a stone'

A Cork undertaker called at a house to collect a client not being sure of the address he asked the woman who answered the doorbell 'Is this where the man that's dead lives?'


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