Dont Tell Everyone
The couple lived on a lonely farmhouse and longed for the children that never
came. One day they heard about a custom of lighting a candle in Lourdes which
was supposed to bring offspring so off went Paddy to Lourdes and lit the candle.
Well would you believe it? Each year after that a child arrived and the couple
were-strangled trying to provide for them. When child number thirteen was about
two weeks old the local clergyman visited the farmhouse and found the wife alone
feeding the thirteenth arrival. 'Where's Paddy?' asked the priest.
Without raising her head the wife grunted:
'He's gone to Lourdes to put out the flaming candle.'
On his air journey to Lourdes, Paddy sat near the cabin of the plane. There was
a very young and very pretty hostess on duty. They were not long out from Dublin
when the captain gave the customary speech over the Tannoy about altitude, weather
at destination and so on. The young hostess was back in the galley preparing lunch.
When his information to the passengers ended the captain forgot to turn off his
microphone and his next piece of conversation to his co-pilot came over the Tannoy
loud and clear. 'I'm going to have a cup of coffee and then I'm going to make
a pass at that pretty new hostess.' Hearing the statement and realising what had
happened the young hostess dropped what she was doing and rushed down to tell
the captain. As she passed Paddy, he called her and whispered to her: There's
no hurry, girleen, he's going to have a cup of coffee first.'