irish jokes
 
An Englishman...
Corkman Jokes
Home Life
In the Pub
International Irish
Irish Farmers
Irish Logic
Irishisms
Kerryman Jokes
Kerrywoman
Play Time
Religion
Ulster Jokes
War Times
Working Life



I Confess

Driving past the small country church one Saturday evening a farmer noticed a number of children playing around the priest's new car which was parked outside the church. He dismounted from his tractor and hunted the children away. Noticing the keys in the ignition of the car, he sat in and drove the vehicle up a narrow lane that ran behind the church. He hopped into the church then and approached the long line of women that were kneeling, waiting for confession. He asked them would they mind if he hopped in before them and, since he was renowned for his good-living, they agreed for they assumed he would not be long. They did not know that he was really only going into the confession box to give the priest the keys of his car that he had driven to a safe place. Imagine the good ladies' surprise when they heard the following conversation coming from the box, after some initial whispering:
Priest: 'Well what did you think of her?'
Farmer: 'A bit stiff at first, Father, but she was easy to handle when I got used to her.'
Priest: 'I hope you took precautions!'
Farmer: 'Oh there's never any danger once you keep them around fifty. I'm a slow mover anyhow.'
Priest: 'You weren't so slow the first night when the two of us tried her out. (By the way, how will we get the tar spots off her! this was unheard outside)
Farmer: 'Oh, a little drop of spirits softens them up.'
Priest: 'Aye. The two of us must have another go soon, when the weather gets warmer.'
Farmer: 'Good idea, Father. They're easier to take off when she's hot. By the way, the others will be fed up waiting for us to move.'
Priest: 'I believe her big end is made of stainless steel and whatever sort of paint is on her is rustproof.'
Farmer: 'I noticed she was well painted all right. Must be nearly half an inch thick on her.'
Priest: 'And they tell me her undercarriage is sealed. By the way, isn't it nearly time you got one of your own?'
Farmer: 'Ah sure how could I afford one, Father. They're an expensive item.'
Priest: 'I know where there's a couple of well used ones.'
Farmer: (Quietly, unheard outside) Anyhow, Father, I only came in to give you the keys and say where I left the car. Ill be off.
The farmer left the box. The women cast cold eyes upon the man that they had thought to be a saint. They almost cast the statue of St Joseph at him when the priest poked his head out of the door of the confession box and shouted up the aisle after the farmer:

 
 


 
Home | Links | Contact | Email this page to a Friend | | Top
   
 


© 2000-11 irishjokes.co.uk - Part of the HumourHub network