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One Liners

Who was born in a stable and had thousands of followers?

Then there was the farmer who was so crooked that when he cried the tears ran down his back.

How did the farmer know the pigs had been in his fridge?
He saw the marks of their crubeens in the custard.

Why did the hen cross the road?
To get her chicken.
Do you get it?
Neither did the hen.

How would you carry four bullocks in your car?
Get a roof-rack and put one on top.

How would you shoot a black crow?
With a Black Crow Gun.

How would you shoot a grey crow?
With a grey crow gun?
No! Throw a bag of soot over him and shoot him with a Black Crow Gun.

The fruit-farmer's son joined the Army and asked to be sent to the Apple-Corps.
They called him 'Hammer' because he had a striking appearance.
They called his brother 'Mirror' because he spent his time in reflection.

'Will you miss me tonight,' sang the farmer at the Farmers Dance. His rendering was flat and pretty rank. The unkind cry came from the end of the hall: 'Not if I have a blooming shot-gun.'

An American took up farming and crossed an owl with a goat to get a 'Hootinanny'.


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