A group of English farmers' wives were coming to visit the local Macra na
Feirme Qub. To make them feel at home the club decided to lay on a little tea
and crumpet for them.
After the success of the film Jaws a farmer whose hobby was making films of
wild-life decided to make a film on rats which he would call Gnaws.
The farmer's wife did not know whether to be worried or vexed when her little
daughter ran into the kitchen shouting that her daddy was back from his visit
to the chiropodist and that he was footless.
The city visitor to Mick's farm was very proud of his being so well versed
in the farm animals or so he thought. He stopped before one animal and said to
the farmer. 'Why has that cow got no horns?' The farmer replied, 'some cows have
their horns cut off when they're calves. Some do not grow horns at all but that
one you're looking at has none because it is a sheep.'
The farmer was bragging about his dramatic achievements with the local pantomime
troupe. 'I played the front part of the cow in last year's Jack and the Beanstalk,'
he said to Pat. Pat replied with the question, 'who played the udder
Then there was the farmer who read all about water-skiing and went looking
for a lake with a slope on it.
If your wife is fat make her walk ten miles a day. In a months time she'll
be 300 miles away.
The Wicklow farmer's son arrived home and was asked by his father where he
had been all day. Son: 'I was at the Sheep-Dog Trials.' Farmer: 'How many were
The Northern Young Farmer's Club invited Prince Philip over to South Tyrone
for a shooting holiday.
The young farmer shyly stood at the reception desk of the maternity hospital
as the receptionist asked him about medical-cards, health insurance and other
things about which he knew little. His wife was becoming impatient for her time
was near so she said to her husband, 'Will you for God's sake tell her well pay