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One liners

Seen in a Dublin newspaper:

Prize crossword. Solve it and win £20,000 plus a holiday for two in Paris.

For those only playing for fun, the answers are on page 14.

Sign on the coast road by a small Sligo village:

'When you can't read this sign, the road is flooded.'

'I want some six by four timber for the new barn,' said Cassidy.

'We don't call it that now,' said the DIY manager. 'Since we've gone metric you have to ask for 15.2cms by 10.16cms. And if you want any it's two pounds a foot!'

Father Francis it was who stubbed his toe and stumbled whilst baptising a child, and henceforth the boy was known as Thomas oops McNaily'.


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