My son won't be in
The very stout lady staggered up the three flights of extremely steep stairs
and into to the headmaster's office. Puffing and panting she explained, 'I've
come to tell you why my son is not at school. He's got diarrhoea.'
'Why didn't you send a note?' said the head.
'If I could have spelt it, I would have,' she replied.