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One Liners

A Kerryman bought a new car on a fantastic hire purchase scheme 100% down and nothing to pay each month.

A Kerryman, who had fallen into a lot of money, went to the doctor with an injured leg.
That looks nasty', said the doctor, 'I'd better give you a local anaesthetic'.
'Hang the expense', said the Kerryman, Til have the imported one'. ,

Two Santa Clauses outside a big store. Which one is the Kerryman?
The one with the bag of Easter eggs.

A Kerryman bought a large engagement ring for his girlfriend.
'Ooh', she gasped, 'is it a real diamond?'
'If it's not', said the Kerryman, I've just been done out of £1.50'.

What are Kerry nurses famous for?
Waking patients up to take their sleeping tablets.

Have you heard about the expedition of Kerrymen who set out to climb Mount Everest?
They ran out of scaffolding thirty feet from the top.

Have you heard about the Kerryman who thought that VAT 69 was the Pope's telephone number?

How do you recognise a Kerry Garda?
He's still looking for Herrema.

Have you heard about the Kerryman who lost all his luggage at Crewe Station?
The cork came out.

Did you hear about the Kerryman who saw a notice reading:-'Man Wanted For Robbery and Murder'
He went in and applied for the job.



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