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Then there was another Kerry woman who wore two jackets when she was painting her kitchen because the instructions on the paint tin said: 'put on two coats'.

Two women overheard In a Kerry restaurant:
The butter here is so strong that it could stand up and say "hello" to the tea.'
'And if it did the tea would be too weak to answer it.'

A Dublin couple employed a Kerry woman to babysit. Unfortunately it did not work out because the Kerry woman kept sitting on the baby.

CORK WOMAN: 'I have my husband well under control. He eats out of my hand.'
KERRY WOMAN: 'It must save you a lot of washing up.'

Then there was the Kerry contralto who objected to going on stage after the monkey act in a circus in case the audience thought it was an encore!

Did you hear about the near-sighted Kerry woman?
She worked herself to death because she couldn't tell whether the boss was looking or not.

The matron was inspecting the nurses rooms. When she came to the Kerry nurse's room she exclaimed:
'Look here, nurse, this window is so dirty that you cannot see out of it.'
That's all right, Matron,' said the Kerry nurse. 'When I want to look out I open the window.'

AMERICAN IN RESTAURANT: 'I want an Irish chicken smothered in gravy, please.'
KERRY WAITRESS: 'If you want it killed in that cruel way you'd better do it yourself!'

What do you call a bald Kerry woman?
Nelly Savalas.

CUSTOMER: 'Have you anything to cure fleas in a cat?"
KERRY CHEMISTS ASSISTANT: What exactly is wrong with the fleas?'


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