I once cheated
So Mooney died and went to heaven where he was greeted by the venerable gentleman
at the gates.
'And who are you, my son?' asked the saint.
'Eamonn Mooney, your holiness. On earth I was a famous international soccer
player,' said the would-be entrant.
'And in your life did you do anything really sinful?' said the holy one.
'Well, only once,' replied Mooney. 'It was during an international match against
England at Wembley. In the last minute of the game I broke through and scored
the winning goal. However, what no one knew was that I handled the ball before
putting it in the net. So really I cheated.'
'Indeed no,' smiled the saint. 'Not at all. Sure that wasn't a sin only a
wee wee naughty little jape in you go enjoy heaven, my son.'
'Thank you, Saint Peter,' said Mooney.
'No, no, son,' said the old man, 'I'm not Saint Peter. I'm Saint Patrick!'