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New church bells

Father O'Flynn was visiting his flock trying to raise money for new bells at St Margaret's Church. Much as the parishioners tried to dodge him, he knew where all their hiding places were. Even the back room of Dooley's bar where he managed to pounce on Flanagan, Nolan and Dolan who were playing cards and putting the world to rights.

'Come on, boys, just a few quid all round would play for the bells. Sure you hardly notice it out of your gambling money.'

'Fair dos,' they thought, and up they tipped with the money.

Nolan gave £10.

Dolan gave £10.

But, because Mick Flanagan was well ahead, he gave £50.

Thanks, lads. God bless you. See you at church on Sunday,' said the reverend father.

Sunday came, the bells rang out from 6 a.m. till the Angelus at noon. All the parish turned out to rejoice at the sound. All, that is, except Flanagan. Where could he be? Not ill, surely?

Father O'Flynn went to his house after lunch and found the man slumped in front of the TV.

'Why weren't you there to celebrate the bells?' asked the priest.

'Celebrate,' said Mick. 'Celebrate! After all the money I paid. What do I hear? From 6 a.m. the bells have never changed. Nolan, Dolan, not a word about Flanagan!'


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