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Animal Imitations

Fed up with hunting for work in Strabane, Liam went to Belfast to look for a job.
At the end of the second week, he was running out of money and hadn't eaten for three days. Desperate with the thought of going back to Strabane, he decided to head up to Belfast Zoo and commit suicide by jumping into the polar bear enclosure.
But just as he was saying the Last Rites to himself, one of the zookeepers rushed up to him and said: "Listen, do you want a job?'
'Thank God,' said Liam. 'My prayers have been answered.'
'Well,' said the zookeeper, 'it's like this. Clive, our prize gorilla, has just snuffed it, and with the waiting list for gorillas these days we won't get another one until Christmas the year after next.'
'So where do I fit in?' asked Liam.
'We have an old gorilla skin lying in the store. If you put it on, no one will know the difference.'
'And what's the pay like?'
'100 a week.'
Til take it,' said Liam.
Well, so glad was he to get the job that he launched into it with terrific gusto, and after a few days his acrobatics on the branches had made the gorilla enclosure the most popular part of die zoo.
Inspired by the applause, Liam grabbed the top bar of the cage, did a somersault and went sailing right over the top into the middle of the lion pen.
'Dear God,' said Liam 'I'm going to be eaten alive.'
'If you'd just shut up,' said one of the lions, 'we might all keep our jobs.'


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