Not So Big
Ian Paisley needs a new suit. So he goes round all the tailors in Ballymena
and the cheapest price he's quoted for a bespoke three-piece pinstripe is £150.
This is ridiculous,' says the big man to himself. The last time I bought a suit
it only cost me 3s.6d. I'll take myself up to Belfast and see if I can get a better
deal there.' So he goes round all the tailors on the Shankill Road and they all
measure him up and calculate the amount of cloth they'll need to cover that ample
frame, and the cheapest price any of them comes up with is £125.
This is absolutely ridiculous,' says Paisley to himself. 'If my ain folk can't
give me what I want at a decent price, I'll just have to go over to the other
side and see what they come up with.' So he sets off up the Falls and goes into
the first tailors he sees. The tailor recognises him immediately, does a few quick
calculations on the back of a Mass card and tells Paisley he can do him a suit
That is absolutely astonishing, my Roman Catholic friend, says Paisley. 'And can
you tell me why the cheapest I can get a suit among the good Protestant people
of this city is £125?'
'It's very easy, Mr Paisley, says the tailor. 'You may be a big man up the Shankill,
but you're not such a big man up here.'