Scrounging A Match
Three Ballymena men got on a train together, and sat down in the same carriage.
As the train rattled towards Belfast, one of them got out a pipe and started filling
it. When he'd finished he turned to one of the others and said: 'You wouldn't
have a match on you, at all?'
I haven't a single match on me, said the second man, sitting very still so that
the matchbox in his pocket wouldn't make a sound.
The man with the pipe turned to the third occupant of the carriage. 'What about
you?' he said.
'You needn't be looking at me, said the man, cursing the fact that he wouldn't
be able to enjoy a cigarette on the whole journey. I don't smoke.'
The man with the pipe started to cry. 'Dammit, he said, 'I suppose I'll have to
use one of my own.'