A Belfast man was ashamed of his accent, and decided to go to elocution lessons
Three years later he was speaking perfect BBC English, and he decided to return
home and celebrate with a drink.
He caught the Shuttle to Belfast, got a taxi into the city and walked into the
first establishment he came to.
'I say, old chap,' he said to the proprietor, 'perhaps you could furnish me with
a large gin and tonic and one of your finest Havana cigars.'
'You're from around these parts, aren't you?' said the proprietor.
'Good grief,' said the stunned Belfast man. 'How did you know that?'
'Well, you see,' said the proprietor, 'this is a butcher's.'