Sign on the side of an Irish van:
Eamonn Feason. International Plumber Paris, Madrid, Las Vegas. But mostly
Sign in a Dublin shop:
'O'Reilly's Kentucky Fried Chicken. If Colonel Sanders had had our recipe
He'd have been a general!'
Notice on a building site:
'The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each
'What does your husband do?' inquired Lucy,
'Sure he works in a clock factory,' said Mary. 'He sits at a bench making
faces all day.'
'There's four of you putting these telegraph poles into the ground, Murphy,'
said the foreman. 'How come they've all put in twenty, and you've only managed
'But sir,' reasoned Murphy, 'look how much of the poles they're leaving sticking
out of the ground!'
The Irishman on Liverpool's docks would leave the job early every lunchtime,
telling his workmates, 'I'm just going for more cotton.'
When he died they wrote this epitaph on his headstone:
'Gone - but not for cotton.'
Two Irishmen saw the sign 'Tree fellers wanted'. The first Irishman said 'If
Pat had been with us we'd have got that job'.
An Irish policeman in Liverpool found a dead horse in Cazneau Street. Not
being too sure how to spell Cazneau Street he dragged the beast into Lime Street.